rattle

Still dragged myself to work this weekend, however. I'm sure I made a fab first impression at the Express. I lasted all of about 20 minutes before collapsing in a coughing fit. Several more trips to the ladies room to cough up both lungs followed. Beyond that, it was a pretty easy shift. Not too stressful, only a few short spurts of busy activity. The rest of the time was spent perusing the Saturday newspapers and Internet. And I was sent home early enough to catch a film at the cinema. It was brilliant! The six-year-old was especially amazing. I haven't laughed so hard in a very long time, which was actually quite difficult considering my condition - the mucousy rasp and frequent, desperate attempts to catch any breath at all surely disgusted the crowd.

Today I was back at my day job, only this time on the reporter's desk for an extra shift - bring on the money, I says! - and it was muy easy. Besides a painful earache, the recurring chest rattle and the occassional coughing fit, I was feeling pretty okay as well. Yet everyone there said 'You don't look so good.' Ha! 'You shoulda seen me two days ago!' I said. 'This is me lookin GOOD.' They seemed skeptical, and kept their distance.

I am much improved. Until I lay down. Then I have problems breathing, and I get a sinus headache and each intake of breath sounds like Darth Vader. Waking up after even a few minutes nod off is quite a fright. My mouth is like the Sahara. My lips are split and pained, I can barely swallow. And I cough so much my heart hurts. Richard's starting to worry. He suggested I go see a doctor. Hmmm. I'm sure it'll be over tomorrow.

In other news... well, there isn't any other news really.

Oh yes! I spoke to my mother the other day - always a joy - and as usual she had all sorts of strange tales to tell. First there was the inevitable BAD NEWS BEAR revelation. This time it had to do with my crazy cancerous aunt. As a summary, she's had at least three different bouts of cancer in the past six years or so, and recently underwent a double masectomy just to be sure they've got it all, and that it won't return. She's very much worse for the wear as a result of all these surgeries and treatment, a virtual skeleton. In fact, they had to transplant some fat from her daughter while patching her up one time, because she had not an inch of her own to spare.

Well, supposedly, as they were preparing her for the latest surgery last month, they found a lump of tender red tissue and decided to have it checked. Tests came back and it seemed cancerous. Again! Oh no! Sounds pretty dismal, considering her past. My aunt called my mother, understandably distressed, and said she had known for almost a week but had yet to tell her own daughter. Etc etc etc. Drama. My mom, in turn, is very upset by all of this. She gets in the car and drives a few hours to see her, etc.

The surgery was to be last Tuesday. So my mom calls my aunt on the Monday and is told that they're still waiting on results of some blood tests and are not sure they'll be able to go ahead with the surgery. On Wednesday, my mom gets a call from my uncle, letting her know the surgery went well. My mom asks him when the next batch of chemo will start and he was all confused. Apparently there is to be no chemo because THERE IS NO CANCER. That tissue test came back negative. And the blood test were all fine, too. Not only that, but the results had come back a week before, not at the last minute as my aunt had led my mother to believe. WHAT THE FUCK?! You don't lie about cancer!!! My mother was fuming. Still is. I don't understand.. it's not like she needs the attention. My mom phones her regularly. She has a husband, and daughter, and grandchild. Bah.

This is, by the way, the same aunt I have promised to meet at the casino when I go over for Thanksgiving. The one I will be subjecting Richard to. Oh dear. It's gonna be fun!

My mother also had an adventure with an old lady and a flat tire. She basically did her duty as a good Samitaran and ended up befriending an entire extended family because of it. I bet you anything she'll profit from it as well. The old lady's daughter-in-law will decide to sell her house and think of that nice real estate agent who helped her mother-in-law and BANG! Another listing! My mother has really reaped the benefits of befriending old people and attending funerals.

Dilemma: Do I go to pub quiz for some much-needed socialising? Or do I put my health first and pass up the smoky pub for another night in front of the TV, under the duvet? Eek! It's a tough one!