fatty
Speaking of disgusting, this post is likely to be very much so. Ye of delicate dispositions, look away now. Don't say I didn't warn you.
See, I've been prescibed this crazy new drug which has some disturbing side effects. Basically, the drug works in your intestines to block the absorption of fat. Woo hoo! All well and good. But then what happens to the fat if it doesn't get absorbed? Why, it gets passed right along, if you know what I mean. Generally in bright orange globs of oil. Not necessarily at opportune times. I've got oil leaking from orifices I'd rather not have oil leaking from. Ew! It's both repelling and fascinating. THAT is what is usually inside of me??? Ack!
The first few days were pretty bad. Since then, however, not so much leakage. Yay! I'm not sure if it's because my body has adjusted, or rather I've sufficiently adjusted my diet to avoid it. Cos that's the other benefit of the drug - unless you WANT disgustingness, you must cut back on fat consumption. I've been very careful about the composition of every meal. I've somehow managed to almost completely avoid cheese and chocolate for two weeks now. Shocking, I know. I wouldn't believe it myself if I didn't know it to be true. I even went out to a pizzeria for a birthday lunch and had SALAD. My god.
That being said, I haven't seen any marked results yet. I do feel a bit better, but I dunno if that's just do-gooder smugness or what. I go back in a few weeks for a weigh-in and check-up. We'll see.
This all stemmed from the fact that I was concerned about my thyroid. I've been shafted when it comes to my health, I tell ya, and it makes me SO ANGRY sometimes. I spent a week being VERY ANGRY about it lately, in fact. Angry enough to march to the GP surgery and demand something be done about it.
I've probably bitched about this before, but allow me to bitch again. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at age 18, after YEARS of being convinced I had mono or other such illness, only to be told I was fat and lazy. Grrrr. By the time they finally diagnosed the problem properly, my thyroid had pretty much stopped working altogether, meaning I had no metabolism, no energy, etc. I nearly collapsed on the ski slope and my ankles had started to expand. They reckon my body started attacking my own thyroid organ when my hormones got all out of whack at puberty (about five years earlier).
I was given little to no information about the condition at the time. I took out a trusty encyclopedia and learned all I could from that. Which wasn't very much. When I got to university, one of the doctors at the health centre filled me in a bit more. Then, a few years later, I met another sufferer, who told me about other drug interactions, the correct way to take my pills, diet restrictions, etc. I had no idea I wasn't supposed to take my meds with food! Or that it sometimes reacted badly with over the counter cold medicine! Or that you should definitely not mix it with multivitamins. Ack! All pretty vital info, you'd think. Grrrr....
Fast forward to now, 10 years later. Feeling pretty confident that the condition is under control. I go for my 6-month blood tests and check-ups, get my dosages readjusted when necessary. All is good, right? Well, not really. I still don't feel 100%. But according to the tests, my hormone levels are normal so it must be in my head. Nevermind the fact that I have found it impossible to lose weight. Forget those random muscle spasms and low body temperature and sudden, total energy losses. When good old dependable little red riding hood didn't turn up for four months, I started to get a wee bit worried. So I made an appointment with the doctor and did a lil web research, and what I discovered amazed me.
Apparently, there are several ways to treat hypothyroidism. I was never given any options! Apparently, the normal course of treatment doesn't work with everyone. Apparently, there are many who benefit more from this other treatment. And the list of symptoms looked remarkably familiar. Hmmmm... I also found out that I should be avoiding soy products as it inhibits the absorption of my meds. You think someone would have told me this, especially as I am a VEGETARIAN and eat tons of soy!? Argh!
So I went to the doctors, and met yet another GP who was pretty much clueless about the condition. I suppose it doesn't help that I seem to see a different doctor every time I go, and none of them are specialists. On the message boards I visited during my online research, most were populated by Americans who all seemed to have their own endocrinologists. Fat chance of me getting one of those here. They tested my hormone levels and, surprise surprise, they appeared to be normal. I explained I was still getting symptoms and, what is becoming a worrying pattern for me, they decided to try to address the symptoms rather than the root of the problem. Thus the fat inhibitor. Reminded me of the time at university when I was feeling nauseous all the time. They couldn't figure out what was wrong with me (not like they tried too hard) so instead they gave me barbituates to stop my stomach from working and told me not to eat anything for three days. Hmmm. Quite a solution eh?
Ah well. If it works for the weight gain, I won't complain. Though I suspect maybe I should be concentrating on getting my thyroid treatment changed. But it's such a battle and I'm tired.
In other news, I've been doing some LONG-TERM FINANCIAL PLANNING which is, frankly, frightening. It's official - I'm a real adult now. Ack!
It's all come about because of the obscene amount of money they are overpaying me at work - nearly 4,000GBP a year. It means I've been able to put aside 500 a month towards my student loan repayment. I'll be able to take 3,000GBP with me when I go home next month, which, at the current exchange rate, is more than $5,000! That almost completely pays off the loan. Fantastic!
It got me to thinking - what next? I'll still be able to put aside 500 a month. Perhaps I should split it up into different causes. I could finally start a PENSION! And maybe buy some bonds. Stocks? A savings plan with actual interest? The possibilities... I did some research, phoned my mom for advice - she nearly shit herself in shock - visited banks... Insanity! I haven't come to any concrete conclusions yet, but I'm preparing all sorts of paperwork to take with me to the States for proper parental consulation.
Part of the problem, as my mother sees it, is although I'm finally begun to settle, my future is still too uncertain. How long do I see myself in Scotland? Would it really be wise to buy into my company pension scheme, when it doesn't mature for two years? What if I'm not here in two years? What if I move back to America? It seems doubtful the plan would be able to transfer across the Atlantic. I suspect I'll be safe - in that I'm not planning on moving back anytime soon... that more and more, I see myself staying here. For good. But I haven't the heart to tell her. It's all very awkward.
I can't wait to go back in a few weeks. But that's primarily because I see it as a huge shopping expedition, and a chance to show Richard off to friends and family. Not exactly the most noble reasons. Thanksgiving with the fam will be lovely too, I'm sure. But an afterthought, almost. Eeps.
I've been having a bit of an identity crisis of late. I was talking to someone online, and they said 'So, you're an American living in Glasgow.' Yes, I suppose I am. But it seemed such a stark summary. Is that really who I am? I don't even identify myself as American anymore. I don't know what I identify myself as anymore. I just AM. I just see everyone as people. I don't hear the accents anymore. It's kind of strange. Maybe it helps that my group of friends is so diverse. I dunno. I'm talking rubbish, I suspect. Nevermind.
I bought a pumpkin the other day. Spent 20 minutes cutting that sucker up. I had enough for three pies! And still some left over. So I made pumpkin risotto too. I feel like I've been eating nothing but pumpkin for a week. But it's nice. I'd never made a pumpkin pie from scratch before. And it turned out well. I took one of the pies to work and made everyone sample the goodness. I think I have several converts! And Matt got some too, of course. Richard hardly had any, however. Not a pie person, he says. How is that possible?!? Bah. I can't wait for my mother's pecan pie. Mmmmmm. So much good food to look forward to! But the fat! What to do, what to do.... :(
